


The Road of Recovery

by DigitalGhost



Category: Lego Ninjago
Genre: Angst, Feels, Gen, Llangst, Lloyd's recovery journey that didn't work all the way, Shadow of Ronin-inspired, This Is Fine, lloyd - Freeform, lloyd has problems, lloyd has unpsecific-mental illness, lloyd hurts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-04
Updated: 2018-09-04
Packaged: 2019-07-06 23:47:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,367
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15896604
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DigitalGhost/pseuds/DigitalGhost
Summary: After Tournament, Lloyd takes a journey of recovery. It's unexpected and emotional, and who knows where he'll be afterward.





	The Road of Recovery

“Lloyd?”

Lloyd shook himself out of his daze, and turned to Zane, who was walking toward him on the deck of the Bounty. “Yeah?”

“You seemed lost in thought. What were you thinking about?”

Lloyd sat down on the edge, dangling his feet in open air. He didn’t want the others to keep worrying about him.

“Uh, just some stuff…”

“You were thinking about your father, weren’t you.”

Lloyd pointedly looked away from Zane, toward some lights in a distant town. No one should see the Green Ninja shedding tears.

“Lloyd, no one expects you to take this easily.” Zane said as he sat down next to Lloyd, and offered a tissue. “But maybe what you need is some time alone. Meditate, travel, be among your own thoughts, do whatever you need to do. We will be fine if you decide to go, and you can talk to Sensei Wu about it. I’m sure he will know you need some time to recover.”

Recover. Like he was suffering from some illness. But, Zane was right, he did need some time off, away from the others.

“All right, I’ll… I’ll consider.”

Zane stood up and smiled, a warm thing even through his robotic face. “Thank you. Just know if you ever need to talk, we’re here for you. All of us.” He squeezed Lloyd’s shoulder and walked off.

‘I...I don’t know what I need. That’s the problem.’

 

*

 

A few days later, Lloyd left. He’d told the others he’d come back when he was ready, and not to go looking for him. Because honestly, he didn’t know if and when he’d ever return.

First he found a quiet cave, and meditated there, to try and see if he could connect with his father’s spirit. All he got was the same empty feeling.

After weeks of trying, he decided it was for nothing. He packed up his supplies, and his food he’d hardly touched, and moved on.

He found some regular clothes, ragged and worn, and wore them as he wandered the plains of Ninjago, hopefully just seeming like a plain traveler and not the Chosen One, Green Ninja, Master of Light.

Huh. For someone who was supposed to be the Master of Light, bringer of hope and peace to Ninjago, he didn’t seem to have much light or peace in his life. His father’s death was weighing him down, of course, but his whole experience as a ninja seemed to have caught up with him too.

  
Free the serpentine? Stupid. Accept his role and the Green Ninja? Both the smartest and dumbest decision of his life. Battle the Overlord? As only a fool would.  
Go into space?

Let Zane sacrifice himself?

Try to get the ninja back together?

Enter the Tournament of Elements?

And worst of all, allow his father to have Lloyd send him to the Cursed Realm?

It all came crashing down on him, and it was just so overwhelming. There, in that dirty alleyway of a small mountain village, the Green Ninja broke down.

“Are...Are you okay?” Asked a voice.

Lloyd looked up, not caring about his red eyes or wet cheeks. A child, no older than 6 or 7, looked down at him, big eyes full of concern.

Oh, god. No one had sincerely looked at him like that since…

“Uh, yeah, I’m fine.” Lloyd told the small boy. “Isn’t it kinda late? You should be getting home, little guy.”

“Well, my mom’s almost done with dinner…” The boy said, trailing off he saw Lloyd’s empty food bag. He could probably hear Lloyd’s stomach growling from there as well.

‘No, no, please don’t, I’m really quite fine, I should be on my…’

Then the smell hit him. All he could tell for sure was fresh bread, but whatever it all was, it smelled good.

 

*

 

“So, Haru told me you seemed like a traveler. Is this true?” Asked the mother of the little boy, Haru, as she served him a slice of bread.

“Well, yes..” Lloyd replied uncertainly. He hadn’t talked to anyone, much less strangers, in a while.

“What’s your name, son?” Asked the father, a well-muscled man with a worn but kind face.

‘Son.'

Er…

“My name’s Hikari.” He said, taking another bite of food to try to minimize conversation.

Dinner came and went without any crazy questions, and afterward when Lloyd said he should be going, they understood, and gave him some extra food.

“Don’t go, Hikari!!” Cried Haru as Lloyd tried to go out the door. Lloyd got an unexpected hug around the legs as Haru held on tight.

“He has to, Haru, a man has his mission.” Said the father gently.

Haru looked up at Lloyd with big puppy-dog eyes. “Do you really have to?”

Lloyd let out a laugh, the first in a while. A long while. “Sorry, squirt, but I do. Maybe, when I’m done with my, uh, mission, I can come back. Deal?”

Haru smiled and let go of Lloyd. “Deal.”

 

*

 

Coming to rest in a deep, cool cave, Lloyd sat down and opened his pack.

He set 2 framed photos onto a small cloth, added some fruit, and lit two small candles with some green fire of his. Though it wasn't much, he had used all the money he had left, leaving him broke.

Reverently, he knelt down in front of the offering.

The first picture was a framed photo of him and his dad, eating noodles at Chen’s Noodle House. It was a month or two after Zane’s death, but also the first time he’d seen his father in something other than a Sensei robe.

Seasoned noodles with fried rice. That was what he’d gotten.

The second picture was a child’s drawing, which was so messy it could’ve been a child’s first drawing. Which, it was. His own.

The drawing was of Lloyd as a child, holding the hand of his father. There was sunshine, flowers, a tree, even a bird.

In other words, it was all he could never have.

“I’m sorry, father,” He whispered, as if saying the words too loud would cause them to disappear. “I’m sorry I couldn’t do more. I’m sorry we couldn’t have more time. I’m…” His voice cracked, and he wiped his cheek. “I-I’m sorry I couldn’t be the perfect son, and…” He trailed off, lost in his own thoughts.

 

*

 

The day after Lloyd’s offering, there appeared a shadow. Whether it was real or in his mind, he couldn’t yet tell.

After he woke, he felt better. About his father, and about himself. In fact, he was packing up his stuff to go back to the Bounty when he first sensed it.  
The shadow.

If it was an enemy, he couldn’t lead it back to the others, so he decided to stay away a bit longer. To keep them safe.

Unfortunately, the shadow seemed intent on messing with Lloyd. He never actually saw the shadow, but he could feel it most of the time.

The only time he couldn’t feel it was either when it physically went away (because it was physical- he could tell that much), or when it went into his mind. The shadow wasn’t controlling him; no, he didn’t think it was that strong. But, it could influence his thoughts.

‘Do this, Lloyd.’ It seemed to say, in a smooth, calming voice. ‘There’s no harm.’ Or ‘You deserve it.’

One time he found himself holding a knife to his arm. No marks were on him, thank goodness.

Repeatedly, the shadow convinced Lloyd to play with fire. Not his signature-green kind, but regular flames, like Kai’s. Several times he burned himself, if only accidently. Just watching the flames helped him relax, like he had a live friend, and occasionally the warm fire would ward away the fire. He even learned to meditate with fire, which helped him focus too.

After a couple more weeks, he felt strong. The shadow was still with him, but he felt he could handle it, especially if he was around other people.

He knew he wasn’t healed, not yet, but he was on the road to recovery, and especially with the help of his friends, he would get there.

Eventually.

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by the sweet video game Shadow of Ronin. "it's just a mine!"  
> Me: hey self you should write some fluff  
> Me to me: lets write some ANGST  
> lmao hope you enjoy and all, if the centered-ness bugs you, let me know and i'll change it :o  
> Edit: i dont like it ima change it anyway


End file.
